You Don’t Have to Say Yes

Chris Marlow —  October 13, 2011 — 2 Comments

I believe one of the biggest reasons people fail to accomplish their goals in life is, “sideways energy”.  Somehow, we have to learn that you don’t have to say “yes”. This is an important principle. If you say yes to something, whether you know it or not, you’re saying no to something else.

And that something else may be more important. 

And it’s all a choice, your choice. You get to determine the outcome of saying yes, or saying no! You have the power!

If you’re honest with God, yourself and the mission you want to accomplish, then saying no becomes a beautiful thing.

Here’s why most people can’t say no.

  • They don’t want to feel left out. What-ifs become haunting.
  • They don’t want to let people down. (Ironic thing- they usually do let people down)
  • They don’t know their mission. This is tragic, because time is the ONE thing you can’t get back in life.
Non-profit leaders do this often… they run here, there and everywhere…in the name of “doing good.” This is a mistake. They never become great at doing good… But, they will become exhausted. And that is not good at all.
Creatives also do this.  They’re Involved in so many projects, so they never truly accomplish their best work. Which means their work will be lost in the noise of mediocrity.
Businesses do the same thing. They try to create so many streams of income, that they actually hurt their profit margin. Because they’re not great at any one thing. They have no core mission. Which means means their cost of doing business goes up!
These people have failed to say NO. No to an actual person asking for help, or NO to the self-concise mind that is always searching for more, the next idea, the grass is greener if you say yes. It’s never ending.
Just remember, you don’t have to say yes. Maybe today, you can practice this principle. The world needs you to stay focused and accomplish the most important work that you can do. And if you say yes too often, we will never get to see your true potential.

 

About The Author

I’m the Founder/CEO of Help One Now. I live in downtown Raleigh with my family. I’m a justice advocate, who loves empowering leaders (and tribes) to launch movements for doing good.

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  • http://graspingwind.blogspot.com wahba

    ok two questions:
    1 – practically speaking, how does one say “no” to something / somebody in a respectful, God-honoring way?
    2 – what if politely saying “no” still ticks people off? :)

  • admin

    Wahba,

    This is hard to communicate… but I’ll try :-)

    1) It’s biblical. Jesus had to get in the boat, to escape the crowds. Your mission is not to please people, your mission is to obey Christ.

    So, I think leaders have to set the culture as to “why” they’re saying no, and be clear on the YES and celebrate the fruit of our focus. Better ministry, healthy leaders, healthy families, longevity in ministry, etc.

    However, most people that can’t say NO, usually have some key issues to work through:

    1) Control.
    2) Leadership development is lacking.
    3) Messiah Complex – I we don’t say “yes” then someone life will fall apart, folks will be upset, etc..
    4. Gospel – Ministers are seen as the “head” instead of Jesus… so folks look for ministers to help them, guide them, advise them, etc… not Jesus. Of course, they would never say that :-)

    Shalom!