Why I Have Been a Coward: A Confession of Silence



It’s really easy to be a coward. It is true that the word “coward” is harsh, but I have been a coward–let me tell you why.

I have a message that I need to share, but it’s not an easy one. I constantly feel this very tense emotion–a true inner battle that I wrestle with over and over.

God’s people are called to be seekers of justice, to lay down their own comfort for the sake of their neighbor. This is hard– really, really hard.

At the same time, we cannot bear the burden to change the world; that is for God and God alone. You and me–we simply cannot fix the world. But, that does not mean that we can’t do something to make a real difference.

God is not looking for superstars. He is looking for servants. (Tweet That)

Why I’ve Been A Coward

I’ve refused to write about issues of justice consistently. I want people to read my work and feel good about themselves, and not to beat themselves up for not doing “enough.” I’m a super-fan of unity and encouragement. So, what is my problem? It’s really hard to talk about justice and not make people feel uncomfortable.

However, I was reading The Gospel of Mark this week. Man, Jesus did a great job of making people feel uncomfortable.

And…folks hate that. They will always try to find loopholes in the gospel, a way to justify their inactivity or lack of obedience.  It’s a way to stay comfortable being religious or a Jesus follower, but one that refuses to actually pick up the cross and lay down their own dreams for a greater dream. I know I struggle with this, because it’s hard to be a disciple and life is demanding!

Furthermore, I cannot tell you how many Christians I’ve talked with who see Christianity through their own political agenda or who read the gospels and somehow find a way to use the sacred text as a way to further their own comfort.

I’ve had enough. Christianity is hard. Loving your enemies is hard. Forgiving is hard. Choosing to live more simply–so that others can live–is hard.

But, it’s the most wonderful life imaginable — and that’s why I have to write about these things. Not to cause conflict or to try and win a war, but to help people fully embrace who Jesus is and what He has called them to do.

Yes, I hate dealing with the aftermath, the anger, and the trolls. Therefore, I’ve chosen before not to be brave. I have friends that chose differently and are berated for this act of bravery; they are often treated like dogs by their own people. But, my friends choose to be brave, and ask their readers to do the same!

They believe the world can get better and God will use their writing to create a better future.

Moving Forward

I spend a lot of time writing on productivity and leadership for nonprofits. I want to help them succeed and love doing it. I know how hard it is to launch and lead a non-profit. I’m going to create some helpful tools that leaders can use.  But alas! I can’t put my focus there — at least not now.

I have to lay down my own desires and follow the call to write about hard things. But, I promise that though some of the words may be hard, they will be encouraging. Often I will be wrong, but my heart will be right. More importantly, the hope is to get God’s people to fully engage in what it means to seek justice and do good in our generation.



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About The Author

I’m the Founder/CEO of Help One Now. I live in downtown Raleigh with my family. I’m a justice advocate, who loves empowering leaders (and tribes) to launch movements for doing good.

Would love to connect on Twitter or Facebook. Check out my monthly newsletter. Sign up to receive my blog posts via e-mail.

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