The Life-Giver, Self-Builder and Critic

What Kind of Person Are You?

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In your daily life, there tends to be three types of people that you encounter:

1) The Self-Builders: They focus on building their own kingdom. They’re not really interested in what’s going on outside of their box. Their energy, dreams, cash, and time are focused on what they desire to do. These folks miss an opportunity to bring life to the world because they’re so fixated on their own life to care.

2) The Critics: These people are always putting others down, finding fault, looking to destroy. Critics can do this in subtle ways: “Oh ya, that person… they were successful because they got lucky.” Most critics are folks who can’t achieve the success they want, so they get angry at other who do.

Often, critics own the fact that they’re critical and they outright flame everyone and embrace the reputation of a critic. Usually, this person builds a platform on the backs of the mistakes of others. They’re always ready to pounce on what they perceive as inferior, when what they are really feeling is insecurity from their own lack of creativity.

3) The Life-Giver: This person is always encouraging people. They love when other people succeed, they don’t fall into the envy trap, they forgive, they deal with conflict in a healthy way, and they care for you more than they care for themselves. When they offer criticism, it’s with humility, grace, and love. They are the folks who change the world.

Traits of A Life Giver

1) They are a joy to be around

Life-givers are just a joy to be around. When they walk into the room, they bring hope. They’re more focused on others than on themselves. I intentionally surround myself with life-givers, because they make me better and they give me hope. I also want to be a life giver. I want to root for people. I want to help others succeed; I want to be their biggest cheerleader.

As for the critic?

I almost always stay away from the critic. They’re always whining. The critic is usually jealous, frustrated, and angry. They hate that other are successful, and they always focus on what’s going wrong in life, as opposed to all the amazing work that is going right. It’s true what they say: you can never please a critic. They may smile on the outside, but they will eventually tear you apart when the times comes.

I almost always ignore the critic. I don’t have time or mental energy to deal with their negativity.

2) You can disagree with them and still respect them

Signs of a true life-giver: they’re not perfect, and they have an opinion. Life-givers can be critical as well, but they have a different end-goal. They don’t want to destroy you or build their platform on your failures.

When you disagree with a life-giver, you can respect them and they still respect you. You stop and listen when they speak. You know their heart is right; they’re not trying to win a war. The critic wants to win. They don’t care about collateral damage. So, yes, you can disagree with a life-giver–you can even argue with a life-giver–but when it is all said and done, you know they care about you, respect you, and will honor you even in the midst of a disagreement.

In a social media driven world, where everyone has an opinion, this life-giving trait is critical.

3) They make the biggest impact

I’m convinced that life-givers make the biggest impact in the world. They’re positive and loving, and they usually focus on helping other people win. They’re not focused on building their kingdom; they are focused on helping you build your kingdom.

They give you their time, they offer their talents and gifts, they often open up their networks, and they always make you feel better about yourself.

When you succeed, they congratulate you. When you fail, they come, help pick you up and get you back on your feet. Meanwhile, the critic will blog about you, or in his or her heart, quietly be happy that you failed. The self-builders will ignore you; they just do not care about your failure or success. They are too consumed with themselves

Life-givers are a gift to the world. I work with them daily, for we partner with these kinds of people around the globe, and the people who serve on our board also reflect these traits.

So, the real question is this: who are you? Are you a life giver, a critic, or a self-builder?

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About The Author

I’m the Founder/CEO of Help One Now. I live in downtown Raleigh with my family. I’m a justice advocate, who loves empowering leaders (and tribes) to launch movements for doing good.

Would love to connect on Twitter or Facebook. Check out my monthly newsletter. Sign up to receive my blog posts via e-mail.

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